Whole Foods Information

Don't Associate Sweets With Love

Beth Loiselle, RD

Many of us have been raised to associate love with food, especially sweets and other edible treats.  We often innocently express our love to others by offering candy, cookies, and brownies as gifts, rewards at school, get-well wishes to the sick, comfort foods for those away from home, for Valentine’s Day and stocking stuffers, and as bribes.

Over the years, I have observed several teachers with boxes of candy on their desks.  They gave individual children permission to take a piece as a reward for correct answers or good behavior.  I’ve even known doctors who rewarded their young patients for good behavior by giving them candy.  These acts reinforce beliefs that “if I’m good” or “if you love me, you’ll give me good food, especially sweets.”   Most shocking to me was when I saw parents (two different occasions) feeding their babies (about 4 to 6 months old) bites of ice cream from their own bowls.  I don’t know their motivation to do this, but wonder if it had something to do with the parents’ association of ice cream with love.  These babies were too young to actually want the ice cream.  (I do know that both babies had food allergies a few months later.)  I was quite pleased this past Christmas when I saw that the staff of my church had prepared bags of fresh fruit with one small candy cane in it for all the children – how much better that was than a bag full of candy!

As parents, grandparents, teachers, and friends, how many of us are guilty of reinforcing beliefs that sweets are associated with love?  Let’s consider substituting fresh fruit, nuts, an appropriate book, a tea party, a phone call, visit, letter or card (homemade ones are most appreciated!), or the giving of our time in place of sweets.  Just think of the problems we might help prevent or solve – picky eating habits (children who eat lots of sweets often won’t try new vegetables and other wholesome foods), overeating, health problems (poor eating habits eventually catch up with us all), and possibly even serious eating disorders like compulsive eating.

Although we certainly can and should enjoy food, realize that food is a source of nutrition, not of love.

© 2000 by Beth Loiselle, RD, LD